I think it's possible I'm a masochist. It's the only explanation for my having spent the last two hours reading Truu Mommy Confessions. Those women are a bunch of whiners, it's an epic pity party over there. I read it because I love to see the occasional confession that says, "I wish I never had kids" or "I want my life back." Not all mommies are super happy to have babies, I like it because it combats the stereotype that being a parent is the most fulfilling thing a person can do.
Anyway, while reading tonight, I read something that really kind of pissed me off. This confession was posted on both the wife and the mommy confession boards, which is actually what took me to the mommy confession board in the first place. Here it is:
"I met my first love tonight for dinner. We're both married and his wife is pregnant... I feel horrible not because I kissed him, but because I didn't really make out with him."
There are a number of things wrong with the confession -- I cut a lot of the crap out, leaving the important parts. First, both parties are married. Second, the guy's wife is knocked up. Third, she feels horrible for not going farther, which is adverse to what these things would normally say. Normally, the confessor would feel bad about going on a date with her ex. The wife board wasn't terribly nice to this woman about being a cheater. The mommy board was all up in arms over the same confession. Why? Because apparently it's worse to cheat on a pregnant woman than it is to cheat on a woman who isn't.
Some of the comments on the mommy board were perfectly reasonable, expressing outrage at the woman being a cheater. A lot of them, however, said things like this:
"I do not understand a woman cheating with a man whose wife is pregnant. Is nothing sacred.... Can you not even imagine how much that would hurt a pregnant woman. Just out of humanness could you cheat with someone whose wife is not pregnant?"
So, its okay then for a woman who's not pregnant to be cheated on? I mean, I know it doesn't come right out and say it, but what does the fact that the woman's pregnant have to do with anything? People are people, it doesn't hurt more to be cheated on when you're pregnant than when you're not. Yes, I know pregnant women are suffering from hormones, I know it can't be easy being cheated on when you're about to bring another person into the world. It hurts to be cheated on when you're not, too.
Maybe I'm being overly sensitive about this. Maybe I just don't understand because I'm thankfully childfree, but my god, human beings are human being. It's heartless to say that it hurts pregnant women more, or that it does more damage to a marriage when the woman being cheated on is pregnant. It doesn't. I suppose it's just another example, for me, of childfree women being marginalized, second-class citizens in our mommyized world. Maybe the fact that they're doing studies now, studies that prove we're less human has me just sensitive enough that the notion that pregnancy is sacred and it's worse to cheat on a woman who's having a baby is putting me over the edge.
When are mommies going to realize that the world does not revolve around them? I mean, creating life doesn't give you a monopoly on humanity, it doesn't mean you feel deeper, or are more a victim when you're cheated on. Childfree people have feelings and emotions, too. If you cheat on us, we hurt just like a pregnant woman would. It's not about being pregnant, or not pregnant, it's about being a human. If I can see that, and I'm childfree, why the hell can't you?
5 comments:
Here, I'll give you a confession. I totally wish I never had kids and it does not fulfill my life at all. I totally love them, but seriously, I don't understand the fulfillment that people claim they get from having had kids.
As far as everything you said here, I agree completely. The unfortunate part is that mommies will never realize that the world does not revolve around them because the sad thruth is that it does. It sucks that it does but everything is tailored for mothers.
Honestly, mommies annoy me to absolutely no end, and I am one. I have not let having children take away who I am, and that is what most mothers do. That fact creates annoying, think-they-are-entitled-to-everything-for-the-sacrifices-they've-made-to-have-kids, kind of people.
Anyway, yeah, I could likely go on forever so I'll end this here lol.
I hadn't thought about it, Kristine, but I think you're right about the world revolving around mommies. I mean, I know that so much is tailored for mommies, but when you really stop to think about it, it's mind boggling just how much!
I'm glad to know that not all mommies are total zombies to motherhood. I like that about you! :)
Well, I'll be the second mother...not "mommy" (shudder)...to weigh in here. I completely agree that it hurts a childfree person to be cheated on as much as it hurts a childed person. But I can also, almost, grasp the logic that led the mommies on the board to insist that if she were going to cheat, it should be with someone who is not expecting. I believe it goes something like this:
cheating-->divorce-->single motherhood-->financial stress-->emotional stress
So yes, it would hurt every bit as bad to be cheated on, but the financial ramifications and the end result aren't necessarily the same. Which is most likely what the mommies were trying to get at, but as their brains are eaten up by the zombie that is motherhood, they just couldn't quite get it in words.
Of course, it's the pregnant woman that chose to have kids with the cheating louse, so whatever happens to her is kinda in the realm of whatchaget. Lord knows I live in that realm every day.
Anyway, just my 2 cents.
Today, I spoke with my own mother, who is a complete breeder-brain. When I move out, I am cutting off all contact from her.
There was some bitch on TV raving about how a crime was so awful because children were involved (read: 1) and 3 adults died, but got no mention. When I said "Yeah, because one child who doesnt do shit for the world is better than the lives of three adults who contributed and had family who miss them very much too."
My mom said that the child is worth more.
I wanted to fucking slap her for that comment. She should never have had children, she's plain awful.
And she was cheated on when she was pregnant with me. But I feel no sympathy for the bitch, as she was screwing every guy in sight too.
http://seemikedraw.wordpress.com/2007/08/15/9-months-of-thinking-gave-birth-to-this-cartoon/
I thought you might get a kick out of that.
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